A life to keep living
by Summer Evenings
Summary: Five times Arthur saved Merlin and the one time he didn't. Very light slash.


**A life to keep living  
**

**1. Four and Eight**

Merlin can't remember their very first meeting but he's been told by dozens of helping hands, including his mother, about that day. The day he met Arthur Pendragon for the first time. And he always laughs because it doesn't sound like the prat at all. And he'd only been four at the time. Not so great for a memory when he was barely able to run around without tripping over something, falling on his face, and smiling the whole way down because he was having _fun_.

But that was also when the insults started, his lank and his height something to mock. His mother said children could be mean but Merlin vaguely remembers hiding behind corners and under tables, covering his ears. Then he couldn't hear what they were saying… And then they couldn't comment on the size of them. He cried a little every time but it wasn't until a blonde tot who had just turned eight, came over while he hid under their playground bench. He hadn't gotten any of the sweets brought into the daycare because he knew the others were just going to shove it in his face. But it seemed they stayed away from this boy, probably because he was older.

"Want a cupcake?"

Merlin didn't cry so much after that, though he did come home that day with chocolate everywhere. Including his ears.

**2. Eight and Twelve**

What Merlin can recall from his first coherent memory of Arthur is that he was bigger than his scrawny, eight year old self. Much bigger. As in the other kids ran away because clearly a shadow had blocked out the sun and the earth was ending bigger. But that was the point, he supposed when he'd gotten back home and been given a pat on the head by the rough hand that had seen a cricket bat too long.

And Arthur had been trying make the other children that had made him cry get out of his way.

And Merlin can remember blue eyes, a hand coming out from the large shadow, picking him up by the cuff of his shoulder right where his shirt met his neck, and gruff words that asked if he was okay and which way was home for him? His mother would later say that Arthur had walked him back but Merlin never believed that. No, he couldn't because that was the first time he can remember the other boy holding him.

He can remember being curled up in his arms, carried because he couldn't face the world after what had been said to him. Why did it matter if he didn't have a father? Arthur said it didn't. He didn't have a mother so he would know. Plus, he was twelve and that meant Arthur knew everything. It soothed him the entire way back from the playground, being wrapped up in a Pendragon. From that day forward, the blonde son of the man his mother worked for was Merlin's hero.

**3. Twelve and Sixteen**

Only just twelve and Merlin had his first run in with a female of the negative kind. The only thing is that he treasures the memory. Had she been anything like the nice sort, the ones that ran around like that strange older girl Gwen that babysat him from time to time, then he probably wouldn't have minded. But no, he had to somehow make the brattiest one angry with him. And all because Sophia couldn't understand why he followed Arthur around like some, as she put it, "down trodden, pity pup."

Merlin actually felt bad for the girl. She was the same age as Arthur after all and looking back on it, he realized she was just trying to catch the attention of the sixteen-year-old boy who was captain of his football team and head of student council. Even with it just a memory, Merlin smiles though because she went about it all wrong. First off, she probably shouldn't have done it at a friendly get together in the Pendragon's backyard. And second, she could have been nice to the tag along – and even Merlin will admit that was what he was – but instead she insulted him. And had anyone a brain or enough common sense to listen to the grapevine of the school, she would have known no one touched Merlin without some sort of approval. And that stamp had to come from the golden boy himself. Arthur just snapped at her until she ran off.

By the time the adults found them both for reprimanding, Arthur had the twelve year old securely in his lap, arms latched around his middle, as they perched precariously on a branch up a tree. And Merlin was telling the young man stories, letting his imagination do the work for the both of them as Arthur smiled at his apparent young charge.

They didn't get into trouble but Sophia got a severe talking to and never came back. That seemed to please Arthur and he dragged Merlin out to teach him to ride his bike.

**4. Sixteen and Twenty**

Everyone had a memory of a dance but Merlin will admit his is a little… off. It was bad enough that Arthur was in a university, miles away but of all the weekends he couldn't come home it had to be the one where Merlin was going to prom. Tugging at his bowtie, the sixteen year old shifted in his fancy shoes and tried not to curl into his tux jacket more than he already was. His mother said it made him look 'spooky' as if he didn't see the sun more than once a year and like he'd eat his date rather than escort her.

After all the pictures and tittering of parents, Merlin took Freya to the school. And it turned out all right, except for the part where someone with eyes the color of gemstones turned up to ask Freya to dance and she never came back. Of course, that left Merlin in the back of the room, sipping on punch until he was sure it would leak out his ears he was so full of it. He didn't particularly want to go look for his date, partially afraid of what he might find, partially afraid to admit he didn't want to be there with her anyways. In fact, the person he _wanted_ to see wasn't allowed in because he was twenty and had graduated long before then. And was the one making his phone buzz in his pocket.

'_You look miserable and would have looked better in a regular tie.'_

And then Arthur was behind his chair. Right behind it so Merlin had to crane his neck all the way back to see him. Just like when they were younger, he was being hoisted up by the scruff of his shirt and dragged along to only heaven knew where. But he found he didn't mind, not when he was shoved into the passenger seat of some sort of silver car and driven to the nearest place that sold fish and chips. Later, when he hit his pillow and Arthur hit the sofa that was wedged into the corner of his room, Merlin would remember the laughter and lightness that came from just being near the blonde. Nothing like when he'd sat awkwardly with Freya. Glancing over at the older man, Merlin had to wonder if perhaps he'd missed something all along.

**5. Twenty and Twenty-Four**

"You are a prat."

"And you're an idiot."

The words that started more of Merlin's memories from their time in their flat than any others. Merlin stomped around the flat they'd somehow managed to buy together. What had given them the idea they could live together? Arthur was the exact opposite of him in every way. Blonde versus black, bulk versus lank. The only thing they had in common was their love for greasy pizza and the color of their eyes. And had that mattered to either of them then they wouldn't be having the conversation over who had the red sock that had turned Merlin's entire wardrobe of undergarments bright pink.

"You are the only one that has red in this flat!"

"You have that stupid neckerchief."

"That was from my mum."

"That doesn't mean it isn't red."

Merlin scowled and tried to breathe through his nose. He thought back to all the times that this had happened before, where something had come up and they'd bickered like _children_ and he came up with reasons to stay and fight it out, get it over with. Because he could handle Arthur standing there, leaning in the doorway looking like the he ruled the world but he couldn't handle Arthur doing that with someone else. When had he fallen in love with his best friend?

"Fine. Whatever. I still don't have anything to wear to an interview with a major corporation in… oh, half an hour! Arthur, I needed that white button up!"

And then Arthur was gone and Merlin was huffing, arms crossed in the middle of their living room with the look his friends called the one that seemed to make his eyes 'flash gold' as if he were some sort of demon cat. Arthur had come up with the cat part, said he saw him as spindly. And right before Merlin could open his mouth, let a tirade loose about a conversation that hadn't taken place that day, there was a shirt being pulled over his head and Arthur was before him, blue eyes sparkling as he buttoned Merlin into one of his own shirts.

"Brings out your eyes. Now go get that job so you can start paying rent."

**And one where he didn't**

It was dark when he'd come home from celebrating his upcoming graduation. Granted, the actual ceremony wasn't until the next week but he'd somehow passed all his courses, squeaking by in maths just because Arthur had been there nightly to help him. But when it was dark outside normally there was a light on inside. Especially if Arthur was at home before him. And there was a shiny silver expensive car in front of the place that even a bit tipsy Merlin could identify as the blonde's.

"Arthur? Are you in here? Why are all the lights off?"

Merlin flipped switches as he walked around the place, finally pausing outside the bedroom of his friend. He peeked in, the door wide open, and found the man propped against his headboard with his thinking face on. Shuffling in, Merlin tugged at his ear and gave a small wave to the other. When it didn't seem to register, when it seemed Arthur was just going to intensely stare at him, that's when Merlin moved closer and sat at the edge of the bed. He prodded the leg stretched out next to him with a finger.

"What could you possibly be thinking about so hard that you had to skip my celebration?"

"I… Got the job in France. And I can't just… leave you here. Not when you're about to graduate and not when you turn twenty-four in a couple months. You need someone to make sure you eat."

Merlin stilled, biting his lip and casting his eyes down to the floor. He heard Arthur sigh and when he looked up, the blonde had buried his head into his hands. Carefully, gently, Merlin scooted up to sit before him, pulling those hands away and preparing himself for anything. It was now or never, apparently, because Arthur thought long and hard when he already knew his decision but had to figure out other factors. Bringing his lips gently to his friend's, Merlin held his breath until lips moved against his. Then it seemed he could breathe again, or maybe he had never breathed and was trying to for the first time.

"We'll figure it out."

"We will? You promise?"

Merlin bent up to curl around Arthur as best he could. If the tight grasp around his waist was anything to go by, he was in exactly the right spot he was supposed to be and memories of a different time, a different place sprang to mind. A tree and a girl but this time it wasn't Merlin who needed to be comforted and he grinned like the very cats that Arthur always compared him to.

"Yeah. I promise."

* * *

A/N: A five plus one... original eh? Yes, it's the first Merlin story I've done. Woot, woot! Comments/reviews always welcome and needed to improve. Thanks to all for reading. Much love.


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